Coping with discouragement
...and reminding ourselves of our "why"
I recently took a poll on my Instagram to pulse check what you guys care to read about here — most responses touched on one of two themes:
Balancing personal life, work, and other commitments with running and managing burn out — this one I have a LOT to say about, as it hits very close to home for me after a tough start to the year. I’m still collecting my own thoughts and learnings from this period so will reserve this topic for a later date…
Dealing with discouragement when you don’t reach your running (or other life) goals
#2 felt extra relevant right now with so many of us facing the post-race blues in the aftermath of spring marathon season (more on this in last week’s post).
I definitely resonate with this and empathize with anyone who had a bad day at their most recent marathon/half/10k/5k (whatever the distance!), having brutally bonked during the NYC Marathon in November 2022 (my very first 26.2!). Right after the race, I decided:
that my running career was over, and I was simply never meant to be a “runner”;
that I hated the training for making me think I was fit enough to run my goal time (which was a 3:40 marathon at the time) when I really “just wasn’t”;
that I was going to turn into a yogi now instead; and
that I’d never willingly put myself through that much physical and mental pain again.
Two weeks later, I was signing up for the Eugene Marathon in April 2023 where I got my BQ for this year’s Boston Marathon. Marathons are funny like that!
The reality is that we always learn the most from our toughest days — whether while running a really awful marathon, or facing another one of life’s challenges off the course.
For me, these are the three learnings that I’ve taken away from my toughest marathon that I think can also serve as helpful metaphors for life:
Just because it didn’t happen on the day, doesn’t mean the fitness isn’t there. One of the things that make bad marathons so disappointing is that you train for 16+ weeks (if you’re doing it right…). That’s one third of a year. Then, you need at least 3 weeks to recover (assuming you don’t injure yourself during the race) and another 3-4 weeks to rebuild to start a full marathon training cycle over again. When all is said and done, that’s almost half a year, which gives marathoners roughly two full shots on goal (for a PR race) annually. Bear in mind this schedule gives you no real down time from heavy running. No weeks off.
So when marathons don’t go as planned, we often spiral into the blame game to try and externalize what went wrong for us — “it was just too hot/humid”; “I walked too much the day before at the expo”; “my pace group went out too fast”… the list goes on. I’ve now run two “unexpectedly” warm marathons and have learned that the only real constant with race days is that they rarely go according to plan. So reminding myself that the time on the clock doesn’t necessarily equate to my fitness/preparation helps me to reset and also mentally prepare (ahead of the race) so my mind doesn’t go to the dark place when my watch isn’t showing me the pace that I want to see.
It’s not that serious. Chances are, if you’re reading this, you’re likely not an Olympian (and if you are, please let me know because that would be awesome!!!). Whether you’re a runner, a cyclist, a yogi, or even an artist, I’m sure we can all relate to taking a hobby too seriously sometimes. After bonking the NYC marathon, I felt like my lackluster marathon performance was part of my identity, only to slowly realize that most people’s messages to me after the race were about how I’d inspired them to start running or pick it back up again.
If we get too wrapped up into the elitism of going for a certain time, we forget how much progress we’ve made to get there or why we’re doing it in the first place. My “why” has always had more to do with my mental and emotional health than the time on the clock, so as long as I’m still having fun doing it and growing from the experience, that is a win over anything else.
“The marathon owes you nothing” — my all-time favorite quote about marathon running and one that is certainly true for life. The outcome is never guaranteed, but the commitment to pushing yourself to be 1% better, fitter, faster, and stronger every day is what counts. The bad marathons we leave knowing we could do better. The good marathons we leave wondering whether we should have pushed a little harder. Both of which temp us to see what might happen if we try again. It owes us nothing, takes more than we have, but always leaves us wanting more, and that is why we love it.
So here’s to the marathon for inspiring all of us (on and off the course) to be 1% better every day. The time on the clock may be far from ideal, but the outcome is so much greater than that. And if you have the itch to do it again, you got from it what you would have anyways!
xxx, Tay
Quote of the week:
“A champion is not made when he wins races. It's the seconds, minutes, hours, weeks, and months when he prepares that matter.” - Eliud Kipchoge
This one was sent as a nice reminder from my running coach this week, but it was too perfect not to echo here. :)
This week’s hit list:
What I’m listening to: I listened to this episode from The Blonde Files podcast on my flight home today — all about the skin/gut connection in a super digestible way! A must listen for anyone who is curious about hormone health / PCOS: “How to Holistically Balance Your Hormones, The Gut-Hormone Connection, PCOS and More with Dr. Taz Bhatia, MD”
What I’m eating: Protein! After so many months of heavy carbs, I’ve found myself craving lower carbs and more protein, which as been a huge change for me because I’ve always been a high carb kinda gal. I still usually start my day with a bowl of oatmeal with all the trimmings (oatmeal inspo on my IG story highlights!) and then focus my lunch/dinner around a protein with lower carbs/some veggies. I’ve found this keeps my energy stable throughout the day with way less blood sugar crashes - imagine that! My go to afternoon snack has been Chomps (totally non-sponsored!)… iykyk
What I’m loving: Quality time with my sister. We are two years apart and spent the past week in Palmetto Bluff running, boating, shopping, hanging by the pool, and drinking martinis. She’s moving back to Austin this week, which will be the first time we’ve lived in the same city in 8 years. Furniture shopping is up next <3
